About us
Founded in 1987 in Silicon Valley, Incompetent Software
Hucksters has been the premier provider of truth in
advertising to the software industry for over a decade.
Our skilled staff has sufficient experience with such
a diversity of quirky computer hardware and software
that they can diagnose and fix problems almost clairvoyantly,
even over the phone, even in software that they've never actually
used. Think of us as your psychic computer consulting
friends. We have provided
consulting services to leading computer hardware and
software vendors, as well as assisting business graduate
students at a Famous California University with their
computer needs.
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Incompetent Vision
Ignore all that William Gibson crap, and
don't take advice from anyone with an
obviously assumed name like "Faith Popcorn".
If
you want to know what the future holds,
come to Incompetent Software Hucksters
for advice.
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Incompetent Services
If you've got the money, we've got the time. And if you
have to ask, then you probably can't afford it.
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Contact us
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ActiveLogoTM
If your site isn't sticky enough, if those
eyeballs wander, you need
ActiveLogoTM.
Scientifically designed and rigorously tested
at Incompetent Labs, the research arm of
Incompetent Software Hucksters,
ActiveLogoTM
grabs web surfers' attention without
causing
dangerous
epileptic
seizures.
License it now!
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InvisibleHand
Is your business suffering from too much destructive
competition? Is frictionless commerce cutting into your
margins? Are the new electronic markets a little too open?
If so, you need InvisibleHand, Incompetent Software
Hucksters B2B cooperative pricing service. You tell us
your price and who your competitors are, and we'll handle
the rest. Combining the latest in proprietary signalling
protocols with good-old-fashioned "enforcement", we'll
make sure that you get the right price for your product.
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Yer-in-trouble
Coming soon! Visualize a GIF of your favorite
dot-com Captain-Bligh, poised above a virtual
vat of urine. Dare you click the lever? Why
should Andres Serrano have all the fun, at public
expense yet? Let capitalism piss you off, and
prove that free enterprise can
compete in the offensive art market.
Invest in our e-masterpiece, and SEND MONEY NOW.
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Tits-N-Assets
Combining the two hottest internet industries,
Incompetent Software Hucksters is proud to
announce their new topless online stock trading
service.
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Palm Pirate
The personal organizer that's also an
industrial espionage tool. First 100
customers get a free eyepatch and parrot.
Optional accessories include a wooden leg
and hook.
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eTulip
An exciting internet investment opportunity
in floral genomic research. Why waste valuable
computing power looking for prime numbers
or extraterrestrial life? Turn your spare CPU
cycles into stock options and get in on the ground
floor.
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Portalette
For the little company on the go, the
growing company that just can't wait,
or the newly networked company with
urgent problems,
Incompetent Software Hucksters is proud
to present Portalette, our quick-and-easy
portal solution.
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Reporting bugs
Send us all your bugs, no matter whose software they're in.
We like to make fun of the other guys.
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Incompetent Software Hucksters
is seeking investors to provide capital so that we can
describe, as well imagine, our exciting product plans.
We promise to lose less money than Amazon.
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